It took God over 15 years to restore my soul. It was completely ripped to shred when fear for my life and wanting the best for my kids forced me to make a decision that I regretted. Not being a part of their lives for so long left them wounded and scarred for life.What was I thinking? I was sure that by the time they were adults they would be able to look back with new found intelligence and understand what happened and why I was MIA. But like all of my dreams this one has gone belly up. My youngest son wants nothing to do with me. My daughter who was until recently my best friend is also not speaking to me and once again my soul is torn apart. I am tempted to get on the next plane back to Florida and never again attempt any form of contact with them. The pain is so great I feel like I am suffocating. I missed so much and now any hope of building a relationship with them is slipping away. I refuse to spend the rest of my life kissing their behinds to be a part of their lives. They want blood and I do not have it to spare.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
WEDDINGS
Tonight I got drunk and watched "my fair weddings" and at 50 years old I had to admit one thing to myself. I WANT THAT. I got married at 18 but it was a rushed affair with a dress from the goodwill and in the living room of a best friends mom who had just got her ministerial license...mail order. Most poor black girls do not allow themselves to dream of a wedding, it is viewed as an expense we cannot afford. We never aspire to be more than a "baby's mama" or a live-in piece of ass. To us it is a white girls privilege and not something we can aspire to. I want a man that loves me enough to want to see me walk down an isle, looking like a princess and vowing to love me now and forever and actually meaning it. I want the whole nine yards. I want the female experience. But I know for me it is too late. I know there will never be anyone willing to give me this or love me like that. My time has come and gone. That is why I sit and cry alone alone in the dark the one man that asked me to marry him treated me like gum on the bottom of his shoe and I have not found one to treat me any better. I guess I was not meant to for the fairy tale. That is the rule and I am the exception.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Suddenly Single Again: Senior Online Dating Could Be The Answer
You are older now, it has been years since you had a date,
you do not even know where to begin. This is the dilemma facing a lot of
seniors who, for whatever reason, are finding themselves suddenly single. Being
single and over 40 is a scary proposition. Things have changed so much in the
last 10-20 years nothing is like it was in our youth. That is why today’s
senior is taking the next step in the evolution of dating, finding the top
senior dating sites online.
Seniors are getting with the times and taking advantage of all that online dating has to offer.
There are many senior dating sites online and more are being launched every
year. Online dating saves you time. You can learn a lot about the possible
candidates without having to play twenty questions. This is all done for you by
the dating websites. You get to know the particulars about a person before you
make first contact.
Most of these sites offer search engines that allow you to filter
out or in whatever criteria you desire. You can find a date for a day or build
a friendship that will last the rest of your life. When looking for an online
senior dating site it is good to make certain of the types of searches you are able to perform.
The best thing about
using senior dating sites is that there is never any kind of commitment
involved. You can talk to people via instant messaging or chat boxes to gt to
know them, or ignore them if they seem creepy. There is danger all around us and
even thought this is not fool proof it is safer than having x number of
strangers picking you up at your home for dates.
Most people that use the top senior online dating services
say that taking your time to get to know a person online is much better than
the old method of hit and miss. When you are trying to get someone’s attention
at a club or on the street it can be down right intimidating. Online you have a
surefire way to let them know that you are interested and if they never reply
to your flirt you know to move on.
When venturing into the world of online dating be careful
and always remember that people aren’t as honest as we would like them to be.
Yes, you will find the men and women who post photos of themselves that do not
actually reflect what they look like right now. If there is a lie to be told
there is one who will tell it. That is why it is important to talk extensively
with a person before agreeing to a face to face meet and greet.
As in all things you will have to take the good with the
bad. Online senior dating is not fool proof, you will have to squeeze a few
lemons but if you find that one, the right one it will have all been worth it.
Mastering Online Senior Dating
Dating after years of being in a relationship can be scary
at any age. It is even more so people 40 and above. The entire dating scene has
changed a lot over the past twenty or so years and online senior dating is
replacing all other conventional dating methods. There are many online dating
service and some that are target directly at the older dating crowds. Online
senior dating sites are springing up like wild flowers.
While signing up for these sites can alleviate some of the
stress and anxiety that is natural when meeting new people, they too come with
a unique set of challenges. The best thing you can do before signing up with
any of these so called top online senior dating services is to research them
like crazy. After all your security is the most important factor.
With the large number of sites on the Internet knowing which
one is a good fit for you is not going to be easy. Most of these sites offer
some form of trial membership. As long as you remember to cancel before the
expiration you can learn what you need to know about the sites and their
features for free. This way you can figure out what you like and do not like
about a particular site and look for one that has what you want.
The very first thing you need to do is to master building a
profile. Although most sites will have a question and answer section that
includes a lot of multiple choices you will also be faced with essay type
questions. These are the one that you have to be very careful with. Do not talk
a lot about your family. The grandchildren are fine but you are looking for a
date not a babysitter. Keep it upbeat and positive and you will attract the
same. Most of all, be honest and sincere. Post only photos of you that are
current.
We say this because as you peruse the other member profiles
you will notice that not everyone is as interested in being honest as we would
like them to be. There will be people that say they are 62, although they will
post a photo of them when they were 32 or of someone else entirely. It is best to take a long time with the
getting to know you stage before going for the in person meeting.
When you decide that you want to meet someone you have met
on one of the senior dating sites it is never a good idea to meet them any place
where you will be alone. Criminal background checks are not a part of the
online dating site screening process so it is up to you to make sure you do not
get yourself into a situation.
Online senior dating sites are an excellent alternative to
meeting people at bars or at random. Many seniors today are at real
disadvantage since the bars and clubs are mostly youth oriented these days. you
can master the online meet and greet with a little practice and you can do it
for free.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Safety Tips For Online Senior Dating
Although there are a huge number of articles and reports
aimed at Internet user safety this one is particular about its audience. Many
seniors are not as Internet savvy as the younger generations. The baby boomers
and up are using technology that they do fully understand and this can
sometimes create a wealth of problems that they otherwise would have avoided.
We want the “Silver Surfers” to be as safe as possible especially when it comes
to using senior online dating sites. Below are five tips that will help you to
keep yourself safe and your identity secure.
- Only join reputable senior dating sites. There are many free sites online. These sites are notorious for their shady practices. They have many fake profiles and they ask you enough of the important information that allows them to steal your identity without a hitch.
- Keep personal information personal. Revealing your real name, age, location and email address is not advisable no matter the sites reputation. Although the paid sites monitor their members for suspicious behavior patterns it is not going to catch all possible online predators.
- SSL – if the site you are using does not have that little lock that denotes it is SSL secure then using your credit card is very risky. Most of the reputable sites have the seal and you will find a statement on the payment page stating that they use encryptions to keep your information safe. It may even be better to use a prepaid card for subscriptions even to the top online senior dating sites.
- Even with all of the different checks and balances that many sites use it will also take you using common sense to keep yourself safe. There are things that immediately signal that someone is not quite right in their dealings and these clues should never be dismissed without careful investigation. Let’s look at some of the more obvious signs.
a)
One of the most telling are messages declaring undying love or
to her strong feelings from the very start. This person may not be an ax
murderer but this is a sign of someone who may be a bit too emotionally needy.
b)
When they grammar and spelling is so bad that you can tell
right off that the person is not a native. There are many men and women from
other countries that make a habit of convincing lonely seniors to send them
money.
c)
Photo looks like it came from a glamour magazine. This is not
to say that members can’t be drop dead gorgeous but what are the odds that all
the people on one site look above average.
d)
The sob story artist is out there waiting for you. These
messages almost always request that you contact them offsite.
- Never set up a meeting alone or at your home. Make certain others know where you are going and who with. Get the persons real name before you go out with them.
Online dating services are a great way to get back out there
and live. Ju8st remember to do so safely and wisely.
Stigma What Stigma? Today’s Online Senior Dating Sites Bigger And Better Than Ever Before
The stigma associated with online dating is long gone. Baby
boomers are taking full advantage of the ease and safety that online dating
provides. They are not shying away from using technology in any area of their
lives. The online dating sites are not all that old to begin with and it is
surprising to the sheer number of senior online dating sites that are in
operation. Many thought that seniors would balk at the idea of meeting people
in such an impersonal manner but many actually prefer this to the stress and
anxiety of blind dates set up by well meaning friends.
Senior online dating sites are mainstream now and they are
not only accepted it is fast becoming the venue of choice for senior citizens
who are interested in finding companions. It has become a big part of the
modern seniors social life. No more are they content to go to senior centers or
bingo parlors and they are not satisfied by the offerings in these venues. They
want variety and change. Seniors are meeting people out of their zip codes and
time zones and enjoying every minute of it.
The cost of joining many of these sites is very economical
so that even those on a fixed income can enjoy the great features offered with
premium membership. For men it is much cheaper to join a site or two and se
thousands of possibilities than it is to go on 3 dates a month. You not only
get to see their pictures but also learn about them through the information in
their profiles.
When you see a person that strikes your fancy it is a simple
mater of seen ding them a “flirt” which is a feature that is available on most
sites whether your membership is paid of free. It is less heart wrenching to be
ignored or turned down politely by an anonymous person. This removes all the
anxiety that comes with putting yourself out there emotionally. You save time
and money.
The Internet is already a part of most homes and even
seniors that live in adult communities or senior living facilities have access
to the Internet. Start with the free sites to get a feel for how it goes and
then try some of the top online senior dating sites once you have perfected the
art of writing your profile.
Online senior dating sites have given many thousands of
lonely seniors a new reason to get up in the morning. They are making friends
as well as meeting potential partners. The use of these sites can be safe and
economical so what is there to lose.
Many seniors are being egged on by their children and grandchildren.
They want to see their loved ones happy and smiling again and this is one way
to do it without risking them risking their safety.
Check out the best online senior dating websites and compare
them to see which one is more in line with your needs. Sign up today and start
meeting new people right away.
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